Paperweight Severs Senator Lindsey Graham’s Hand

WASHINGTON, D.C., The Senate Office Building – Senator Lindsey Graham, 64, Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee who kept a 40 mm shell on his desk as a paperweight blew off part of his hand when he apparently used the object to try to squash a bug, authorities say. The 5-inch-long shell exploded Monday while the Senator was teaching 20 to 25 students at an adult education class in, “The Study of Economics: Abortion on Demand for The Lower Classes.” Part of Graham's right hand was severed, and he suffered severe burns and minor shrapnel wounds to his forearms and torso, Fire Chief Adrian H. Thompson said. No one else was injured. He was reported in stable condition at a hospital. Graham slammed the shell down in an attempt to kill something that was buzzing or crawling across the desk, said Chief Thompson. The Senator found the 40 mm round while hunting years ago at The Trump National Golf Club, Bedminster, NJ with President Donald J. Trump, and Brett Kavanaugh, Associate Justice of The United States Supreme Court, and "obviously he didn't think the round was live," said Dennis Huston, who teaches computer design alongside Graham. Graham remarked, “I guess should’ve worn my body armor this time… Not having military experience myself, I wasn’t able to determine the, (and I have and had no desire to experience first line combat, in the first place – I don’t want to be hurt, injured, maimed or diseased, in any shape or form) capacity or combustible capacity – is it T.N.T. or black powder or something… I don’t know… I don’t know… frankly, there’s little I do know from first hand knowledge… I’ve been sheltered, secluded from the “real” world. Look, I know I’m not the top guy… I have to play the game not create it, naturally, I have no ability to create, as far as I know…. Just following orders… Just following orders.”